


This Is Me Breathing

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Odyssey 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-19
Updated: 2005-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 05:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1634546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angela had been missing for over three years when she walked into the diner one late September afternoon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Me Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> Written for LJC

 

 

Angela had been missing for over three years when she walked into the diner one late September afternoon.

Chuck saw her first; he was the only one facing the door when she walked in, and God knows what look was on his face that caused Neil to put down his burger and ask, "Dad, what?"

"Hey guys," Angela said as she walked around the perimeter of the table. Kurt dropped his fork, Neil whipped his head around and shouted, "Holy _shit--_ " and Chuck cursed the day two years back when he gave up smoking for good. If there was something he needed right now it was a long puff on a nice cigar.

Angela slid in next to him; her body was warm and her denim-clad leg pressed against his. Chuck had seen some pretty fucked up things in the past few years, but Angela seemingly coming back from the dead - this one was a keeper.

Kurt jumped from his seat like his ass was on fire. He shot a look at Chuck, then Neil, then Chuck again. Chuck leaned back against the booth eating another spoon of chili and watching as Kurt bent down in front of her.

"What are you--? I mean, how--? I mean-" Kurt ran a hand through his hair and his mouth opened and closed like a demented fish. Chuck wondered if Kurt was going to be able to manage a full sentence when he finally spat out, "Angela, where have you _been_?"

Angela laughed and shook her head. Chuck watched Kurt take her hand between his. He could see how hard Kurt was squeezing from the way Angela's fingers were turning white.

Chuck knew that of all of them Kurt was the one most fucked up after Angela disappeared. It had taken close to two years for Kurt to stop feeling responsible, and, even now half the time, when he told Chuck he was doing fine Chuck knew Kurt was anything but. Chuck wished he could feel happier she was back.

After Angela had disappeared they all busted their asses trying to find her. Seeing her now should be a happy thing - Chuck should feel relieved - but he had learned not to trust anything, even himself, since they came back to earth. Seeing Angela now did nothing more than get his suspicions up.

"I don't remember," Angela said. Her voice sounded the same only calmer. This Angela was probably a lot less likely to tell Kurt to fuck off. Chuck didn't know how he felt about that.

"I remember us being in the car," she told Kurt. She looked away from him and over to Neil. Neil had his arm stretched across the back of the booth, and after his initial shock was watching Angela carefully--just like Chuck was. "You got shot," Angela said, looking back down at Kurt. She sounded slightly panicked as she leaned over to get a better look at Kurt's knee. Chuck met Kurt's eyes over the curve of Angela's back. It didn't take long for Kurt to look away.

"It's fine now, darling," Kurt said carefully. He reached out and tucked a hunk of hair behind her ear. Her skin was so pale against the deep black of her tank top. Wherever Angela had been, it wasn't a place with a hell of a lot of sun. "Are you - are you sure you don't remember anything else?" Kurt asked.

Angela shrugged. "You got shot and they grabbed me. I feel like time has passed, but if it has..." she trailed off. "I don't know. If it has I don't remember it."

"Where did you come from, Angela?" Neil asked. "You don't remember anything else? What's the first thing you _do_ remember?" The tone of his voice was accusatory, and Kurt gave Neil a dirty look before standing up. Chuck pulled a toothpick from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.

"I'm not quite sure I like your tone," Kurt told Neil.

Neil shrugged. "I don't much care. I think Angela should tell us how she got here today."

"Now you just listen here-" Kurt said, angrily.

"Does anyone know you're back yet, Angela?" Chuck asked. She turned to him and shook her head.

Angela slipped out of the booth when Chuck shifted over. He couldn't stop looking at her skin. Angela sat back down, and Kurt sat next to her. He ignored both Chuck and Neil.

"Going somewhere, dad?" Neil asked. Chuck nodded. The toothpick in his mouth broke in half, and he spit it into his hand.

"I'll be in touch with you all later," Chuck said, nodding at them. When he walked outside the sun was shining harsh and bright. Chuck pulled his sunglasses from his pocket and headed for the car.

*

"Did you notice anything funny today when Angela showed up?" Chuck asked Neil the minute he walked in the door. He'd been waiting for Neil to get home for hours. It was already well past eleven, and Chuck's brain had been going since the afternoon.

"Other than the fact that she's been pretty much _dead_ for the past three years?" Neil asked. "No, nothing funny at all."

Neil took off his jacket and hung it on the post at the bottom of the stairs. Chuck would remind him to put it away later, and Neil wouldn't, and it would stay there until the morning. It was a different routine than when Paige was alive, but it was a routine nonetheless.

"There was just something-" Chuck followed Neil into the kitchen. "I think there's some pizza in the fridge if you're hungry."

"I'm good." There was half a bottle of soda left on the counter that Neil drank in one gulp. "I ate with Holly."

Chuck shook his head and fished in his pocket for another toothpick. He had enough on his mind without bugging Neil about his constant on and off again relationship with the girl. Neil was twenty, but really twenty-five, and doing the space program for the second time around. Chuck remembered dating and school and cramming for tests. It wasn't anything he'd ever wanted to do again. The fact that Neil had to was far more shit than anyone should have to deal with.

Neil leaned his back against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms over his chest. "You think something is weird with Angela."

Chuck sat down in a chair and stretched his legs out in front of him. The newspaper was opened to the business section in front of him. The headlines all blurred together in his head. It was all yesterday's news, anyway. "That I do," he told Neil, flatly.

"Why am I the only one you're telling this to?"

Chuck crunched down and had a mouthful of wood splinters again. He spit the toothpick into his hand and said, "Because I can't trust Kurt." That had been all Chuck had planned on saying until he said, "You're the best one I got on the team," and realized it was true.

Neil watched him carefully before nodding. He left the room and called over his shoulder, "I'll check and see if I can find anything out."

Chuck sat in the kitchen alone, listening as Neil's footsteps faded up the stairs.

*

The diner was quiet. It was just after the breakfast rush but a little before the lunch crowd. Chuck leaned back in his seat and watched out the window for Kurt.

"What are you going to say to him?" Neil asked. He ripped open a sugar packet and dumped it in his coffee. Sipped it and frowned, then added another.

"I'm gonna ask him what him and Angela did yesterday." Neil grinned, and Chuck reached across the table and smacked him on the side of the head. "Not like that. I want to know where they went, what they said. I want to know what Kurt knows and I want to make sure he knows what he's dealing with and that this is really her and not some goddamned-"

"It's her," Kurt said smoothly from behind him. Chuck turned around and stared. "I can assure you that, Chuck."

"You can," Chuck said, dryly. Neil slid over and let Kurt sit next to him. Chuck wasn't moving an inch; he wanted Kurt where he could see him.

"I can, yes." Kurt signaled the waitress for coffee. No one said anything while she brought it over, placing it on the table with a smile. Chuck could tell how serious Kurt was when he didn't try to hit on the waitress once.

"So you used the Imager," Chuck said, leaning forward. Kurt lifted his cup and coffee sloshed from the top and wet the table. "You checked her when she was sleeping and everything's good."

Kurt took a sip of his coffee, carefully put the cup down, and lied. "Yes."

Chuck felt Neil's eyes on him, but he wouldn't look over. Kurt was staring right at him, his gaze serious and intent. If Chuck weren't so pissed off he'd have been impressed.

"Is that all you wanted to know?" Kurt's voice was a challenge.

Chuck shrugged and leaned back into the booth. Kurt threw a few singles on the table and stood up. No one said anything until after he left, when Neil leaned forward and said, "He's lying."

"I know."

"But why would he-"

"Because he wants to believe it's her," Chuck said. "We all do, but Kurt's not gonna listen to reason on this."

Neil ran a hand through his hair. "Well what are we supposed to do? Should we call Sarah?"

Chuck shook his head sharply. "Sarah has enough on her plate. This time it's gonna have to be just you and me." Chuck fished around his pocket for a minute. He'd been trying to always keep a few toothpicks handy, but with everything going on in the past day he must have forgotten to grab some extras. Cigars had been easier to remember.

"Dad."

When he looked up Neil was standing next to him holding out his hand. "From over there at the register," Neil told him. Chuck smiled and took the toothpicks from Neil. He ripped one off the end and out of the paper and stuck it between his teeth. These were even flavored.

"So what's our plan?" Neil asked, sliding back into the booth. He finished his coffee and pushed the cup away. Chuck wished he was hungry or thirsty or something - anything. Hell, he wished it _was_ Angela that showed up yesterday and not some goddamned Synthetic. He wished that Paige never died and that Sarah could have saved Corey the second time around and that they never watched the whole world blow to shit a few years back. Chuck wished for a lot of things.

"The hell if I know," he finally answered. "You didn't find out anything last night?"

Neil shrugged. "Nothing." He fiddled with his empty cup; shook his head when the waitress came back over with a full pot. "I went back to where she was grabbed and didn't find anything new. Checked online to see if there was anything-" Neil ran a hand through his hair and huffed. "We have to do something. If it's not her she could be dangerous."

" _It_ , Neil. We should all remember what we're dealing with."

"We don't know that for sure." Neil was starting to look stressed. "We have to find out before we do-What? What's that look for?"

Chuck lifted a shoulder. He felt his lips curve in a slow smile. "What look?"

Neil narrowed his eyes. "That look. The one you're giving me right now."

"Nothing. Just-" Chuck stood up. "What's a little B&E between a father and son?"

*

Kurt's apartment was dark and silent. Chuck flicked on a light and Neil stepped around him and over to the computer set-up Kurt had.

"The Imager's got to be around here somewhere," Chuck heard Neil say. Kurt had been using that thing for years. Hell, he'd been using it the night Angela was taken, though it took a while for him to get it back after he was released from prison. Chuck hadn't seen the Imager in a while, but there was no way Kurt had gotten rid of it.

"Dad, I think it's-"

Chuck looked over to find Neil grabbing the Imager from under Kurt's desk just as the door to the apartment screeched on its tracks. All the lights flashed on as Chuck heard Kurt yell, "Just what the fuck do you think you're-" before all hell broke loose.

Angela was standing behind Kurt, but when she looked over and saw Neil with the Imager her face turned hard and ugly. "Motherfucker," she muttered, before kicking the back of Kurt's bad knee and watching him crumple to the floor.

"Angela! Shit!" Kurt's voice was harsh with pain. Chuck reached in his pocket for his gun but before he could use aim, Angela had her own pointed at Kurt's temple.

"Stay away, Taggart," she warned.

"It's not her." Neil was looking through the lens and shaking his head. "Dad, it's not her, you have to-"

Chuck lifted his arm and pulled the trigger before she even had the chance to move. Angela's body jerked back; green slime and white goo oozed from her chest, and she fell to the floor with a heavy thud.

" _Fuck!_ " Kurt shouted, scrambling on his knees. "You fucking son of a-"

"It wasn't _her_!" Chuck shouted. Kurt was running his hands over Angela's chest. His fingers were covered in slime, and there was never anything more obvious than the fact that this _was not Angela_ but Kurt wouldn't stop cursing.

"I'll fucking kill you myself," he yelled. "The both of you. Just who the _fuck_ do you think you are-"

"Goddammit, Kurt!" Chuck stalked across the room and hauled Kurt to his feet. "Pay attention. Shit. _Look_ at that thing that's lying on your floor. Now I don't know about you, but the Angela I knew wouldn't try to blow your fucking brains out and then bleed _green_."

"You don't understand!" Kurt shouted back. "It was _her._ _Fuck!_ You don't know what it's like to-"

"The hell I don't!" Chuck roared. Neil was trying to separate the two of them. He had his hands on Chuck's shoulder and was pulling as hard as he could. Chuck shook Kurt's arm and yelled, "I got a wife in the ground God knows how many more years than she's supposed to be. I got a kid I had to lose not once but _twice._ I'm trying to save the goddamned world from blowing up a second time, and I loved Angela _too_ , so _fuck you,_ Mendel, telling me I don't understand. I understand _plenty_."

Kurt was breathing hard; his face was red and glistening with sweat. After a minute, Neil let go of Chuck's shoulder and took a step back. The apartment was cold and silent. It smelled like gunpowder and death. Chuck was getting tired of smelling them both.

"I just-" Kurt dropped his head. He struggled out of Chuck's grip and winced when he put weight on his leg. "I just wanted it to be her," he finally said.

It was Neil who laid a hand on Kurt's shoulder but when Kurt looked up, he looked at Chuck. "We know," Chuck told him.

*

The grass was cool and damp under Chuck's knees. His pants would probably stain - Paige would have given him hell for that - but he figured since they were getting stained because he was visiting her she would maybe let it slide.

"Neil did good," Chuck told her. He ran his fingers over the headstone: _Beloved Wife and Mother._ "You'd have been proud, Paige. Neil, he," he added, gruffly, "He's a good kid. I know he was a pain in the ass for more than half of his damn life, but he turned out real well. Reminds me of you, sometimes."

Chuck laid a single rose on the dirt and stayed there until he heard footsteps coming from behind him. When Neil knelt next to him, Chuck didn't even have to look over to know he was there.

"I just came from Kurt's," Neil said. Chuck nodded without saying anything. "He's doing better."

"Good." Chuck shoved his hands in his pockets. "That's good."

"He was able to study the..." Neil paused seeming to think of the right word, "body, I guess," he finally decided on. "There's nothing there. He has no idea what they sent...it for, or why."

Chuck shook his head. "Shit," he muttered. "Can't say I'm surprised but I was hoping he'd be able to find something out."

The leaves rustled in the trees above them, and Chuck wondered if they'd ever find out where Angela - the real Angela - was. If she was alive or dead. Where the hell she'd been for the past three years. Then again, Chuck wondered a lot of things.

Sometimes he wondered just how many more days he'd have like this. Talking with Neil. Visiting Paige. Some days he wondered if they already stopped it all from happening again, and other times he wondered if today was it. If they sped things up and were making them happen quicker.

"Dad." Neil paused so Chuck looked over at him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Angela," Neil started. He shifted on the ground before sitting full on the dirt, crossing his legs at the knees. His jeans would be a wreck but Neil didn't seem like he cared. A second later Chuck joined him.

"What about her?"

"Nothing, it's just-" Neil shook his head. "How did you know it wasn't her? I mean, I had a suspicion but you - right from the beginning you knew-"

"Her skin." Chuck cut Neil off, remembering Angela's smooth, pale hand. There wasn't a crease or a line or a vein. Chuck had been surprised that Kurt didn't notice until he remembered just how hard it was to see the things you didn't want to. "She didn't have human skin."

Neil nodded and pulled a blade of grass from the ground. He stuck it between his teeth and said, "I didn't notice."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching people walk in random patterns across the lawn. It was late September, and Angela was still missing. His wife was still dead, Kurt was pissed off, and, no matter how badly he wanted to, Chuck couldn't fix any of it.

Chuck took a deep breath and dug into his pocket for a toothpick. He stuck it in his mouth and said, "Your mother hated vegetables. Did you know that?"

Neil whipped his head up and swallowed hard. "I didn't."

"Christ, she hated them," Chuck said. He chuckled quietly. Neil cocked his head to listen. Chuck thought about Paige and let himself be happy - just for a minute - remembering. "When Marc was little your mother used to say..."

Chuck sat on the lawn and watched the people go by. He talked to Neil about his mother - everything Chuck could remember - as the air started to chill and the sun dropped from the sky.

*

 

 

 


End file.
